Thursday, September 10, 2009

It's a Bird..It's a Plane...It's a KLUTZ!

After my last post, several of you asked how I answered my students when they asked about my most embarrassing moment. The truth is that I told different stories to different classes because I couldn't decide. As most of you know, I am a self proclaimed klutz and proud of it!

Today, for your entertainment, I will tell you what I consider to be my top three stories, and I want you to vote. Which do you think is worst? (Or best, as the case may be, since I think these stories are hilarious and I don't really get THAT embarrassed very easily.) In order to keep my influence over the voting as insignificant as possible, I will tell the stories in chronological order.

#1: The Classic "I've-fallen-and-500-people-just saw" Act

It was my senior year of high school. I had finally gotten the role in the school musical that I wanted. We had practiced, prepared, and had a great run of the show so far. It came down to closing night--the last time I would perform a play on my high school stage. The crowd had been really responsive that night--easy to please. But, I was about to give them more that they had bargained for.

I was on stage with three other girls performing a tap number. We were all doing our synchronized moves when, all of the sudden, my tap shoe slipped out from underneath me and...THUD! I went down, face first, onto the stage. I got up quickly and finished the number, and, truthfully, it wasn't until I was off stage that I fully comprehended what had happened. I thought for a moment, maybe it wasn't that bad and no one noticed. No such luck.

As friend after friend...and finally even my director...came up to me to ask if I was okay ("I saw that awful fall!" they would say), it sunk in that, YES, I really had committed the most cliche stage act ever--I had just fallen on stage in front of 500 people on closing night of the spring musical.

#2: The Attack of the Chain-link Fence

At the school where I work, we occasionally have fire drills to review with students proper emergency procedure. I'm sure this is common practice at just about every school across the nation.

During one such drill on a particularly cold October day, I felt badly that my students hadn't had time to get coats before filing outside into the frigid air. Trying to figure out a way to help them keep warm, I exclaimed, "Come on kids, run in place! It will keep you warm." To demonstrate (because I'm sure they really needed the visual), I began running in place. Unfortunately, I was standing really close--too close--to a chain-link fence. Much to my surprise, my high heel shoe got caught and I went crashing to the ground.

My students gasped, unsure of how to react, and the teacher next to me, who hadn't been looking my way, heard the gasp, turned around, and yelled, "Oh my gosh! Are you okay?!" I was fine, though for the rest of the year my students never let me live it down and constantly reminded me, "Be careful of that cord, Miss Wright...Don't trip over that backpack, Miss Wright." They got a kick out of it!

#3: Flirtation Gone Awry

I have really bad teeth. So bad, in fact, that I have had four root canals. It's all because of my bad dental genes that this story even exists...not that I blame you, Dad :). I had just had a temporary crown put on one of my front incisors when I gallivanted off to a Young Single Adult retreat in the mountains the weekend before school started last summer. It was a great activity and I had a good time going to classes...and flirting with the boy I liked.

On the closing day of the retreat, I was eating a carrot at lunch (irresponsible with a temp crown, I know), when I felt the crown pop off! I ran to the bathroom, hoping that I could just slide the crown back onto the stub of the tooth. No such luck--I had broken the tooth itself! I searched out a friend of mine who was a dentist and he advised me to drive home and see if I could get in contact with my dentist to fix it before I started school Monday (because a missing front tooth would have made a great first impression).

I made arrangements to leave, but I needed to tell the boy I liked that I was leaving early because he had been planning to come back down the hill with us. I placed the tooth precariously back in my mouth so I wouldn't look like an idiot talking to him, and went to find him. So far, so good. I had a plan to get it fixed and everything would be all right.

Except, life couldn't be that simple. While I was talking to him, the tooth FLEW out of my mouth. And I mean FLEW! It skittered across the picnic table where he was sitting and fell onto the ground. Embarrassed, I dropped to my knees looking for it. The boy joined me, and we began crawling around, searching. We couldn't find it, and people began to notice and want to help.

"What are we looking for?" they asked.

"My tooth," I replied. "Don't ask."

Finally, he found my tooth and held it out to me. As I reached for the tooth in his outstretched palm, I thought to myself, this can't be happening. I am not getting my TOOTH back from the boy I like.

The good news is that I did get the tooth fixed and my life did not end in an embarrassed heap on the ground of that campsite.

SOOOOOO....WHAT DO YOU THINK? Which one wins the prize?


Jeff said...

I vote for number 2 mainly because it gave the children ammunition to make fun of you the rest of the year. But it was close, I almost picked the tooth story. All of them were excellent.

Robyn said...

I like the tooth story. Though I do have to tell you that the other day my rolly chair slipped out from under me as I was leaning over to get something. It just happened to be when all of my kids were quietly working in their centers. They didn't know what to do until I started laughing. It took a little while to get them quiet again. I guess it runs in the family.

Ann said...

The tooth story is totally my favorite because people fall all the time... but only you could pull of the tooth story!

Paul and Susan said...

They are all great, but I think the tooth story was pretty unique and gets my vote.